So I've been working at my new school for about three weeks. It's both better and worse than I expected. The school itself is better - the kids are terrific and the staff is doing some really neat things, curriculum wise. In this school I'll be able to work together with other teachers, which I wasn't able to do before.
Being by myself in the apartment completely stinks. I am afraid of the dark so every night I have to sleep in a position that allows me to see the door and also see my nightlight. I had to move the nightlight three times to get it in a place that lights the room without keeping me awake. Every noise wakes me up, and sleeping alone is ... well, it's lonely. I am so much more at peace with Bear around. I worry constantly about whether my locks are locked and if someone is trying to look in my window. I have no tv and no internet (internet comes on Thursday) so I have nothing to distract me from my neuroses. I can dye fiber and yarn for the business, but there's only so much I can do in a day. Hopefully once I have the web I can skype with Bear and my friends, but until then I'm just completely isolated. It's not what I wanted, for sure.
It sounds like I'm having a miserable time and I'm really not - like I said, there are good things happening here. But my emotions are up and down and all over the place because I miss Bear so much it hurts. I live for the weekends, when I can go home and just hang out. Just *be* there, next to him, where I feel most at home.
Is it summer yet?